IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 technology has been improved worldwide.
Driverless
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 will be popular in the
future
Punctuation problem
future,
show examples
 where only the passengers will be inside the
car
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial to use
driverless
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
 does not mean that
human driving
Use the right word
human-driven
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 harmful. On the one hand, there are numerous benefits of
driverless
Use synonyms
vehicles
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, they are useful for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long distance
Use the right word
long-distance
show examples
travelling
Check wording
travel
show examples
 because the driver might feel tired and exhausted.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
decrease
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 travelling
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
. In China, 85%
decrease
Use synonyms
 in traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they use
driverless
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, self-driving
cars
Use synonyms
 can assist elderly people since their physical and visual
ability become deteriorated
Wrong verb form
abilities deteriorate
show examples
, so they increase the safety for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 to avoid any complications that might happen during driving. Some individuals are stressed
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 driving, so
self driving
Use the right word
self-driving
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 support them and
decrease
Use synonyms
 stress. Despite all advantages, there are drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 autonomous
cars
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 might suffer from technical issues
while
Linking Words
 driving,
therefore
Linking Words
 people are not able to control
Use synonyms
cars
Correct pronoun usage
their cars
show examples
, which might lead to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accidents.
In addition
Linking Words
, they are costly because self-driving
vehicles
Use synonyms
 are advanced technology which
needs
Verb problem
requires
show examples
skillful
Correct word choice
skilled
show examples
 workers and special equipment.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
 they will be more
pricy
Use the right word
pricey
show examples
 at the beginning. In Japan, the first
driverless
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 is expected to
be
Verb problem
cost
show examples
 1 million dollars
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be available in 2033. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of robotic
cars
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages, since they
decrease
Use synonyms
 traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
, assist
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
, and support beginners
while
Linking Words
 they drive. In conclusion, the
autonomic
Replace the word
autonomous
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 are
revolution
Correct article usage
a revolution
show examples
 in the automotive world, which have
varieties
Fix the agreement mistake
a variety
show examples
 of merits that not only support
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 help young individuals. I encourage people to have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opportunity to use
self driving
Use the right word
self-driving
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
 to protect
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure all paragraphs have a clear main idea. Each paragraph should be about one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas. This helps the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your ideas. This makes your points stronger.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the conclusion, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples, like the statistics from China, which helps support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: