IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the data from 2000 and the predicted rates in 2050 about the changes in the population in terms of ages in 2 different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
,there will be a significant increase in the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of adults(15-59) in
Yemen
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 it will go down in Italy.A
substansial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 reduction in the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of elderly people(60+) is expected to happen in Italy.
In contrast
Linking Words
,in
Use synonyms
Yemen
Add a comma
Yemen,
show examples
 it will rise.Both in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
show examples
 the proportion of children(0-14) is likely to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
decrease. In the initial year,the percentage of adults represented 46.3
while
Linking Words
 it was
61.6
Correct your spelling
61.6%
 in Italy.Unlike in Italy,the
per cent
Use the right word
percentage
show examples
 of children in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 was critically low,it is 24.1 in Italy.The rate of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 was about 50.Ini contrast,it
shaped
Verb problem
accounted for
show examples
 14.3 of the full. In the future,adults are likely to increase in
numbers
Use synonyms
representing
Punctuation problem
, representing
show examples
 57.3.Meanwhile,in
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
show examples
 it may experience
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 decrease.There is a projection of a noticeable decline in the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of elderly in
Yemen
Use synonyms
.In Italy, it will
also
Linking Words
 go down slightly.The number of children in Italy will double.Meanwhile, in
Use synonyms
Yemen
Add a comma
Yemen,
show examples
 expectations
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that it will have a small growth from 3.6 to 5.7.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, yemen with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go down" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age distribution
  • population demographics
  • projected
  • projections
  • notable changes
  • demographic changes
  • implications
  • birth rates
  • life expectancy
  • senior citizens
  • young population
  • working-age population
  • dependency ratio
  • aging population
  • socio-economic impact
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