IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Video records are a better way to learn about the way other people live in the world live rather than written documents. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Video
Use synonyms
 records
,
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apply
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 taken a mammoth dimension to be the backbone of learn
,
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.
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upon
Fix capitalization
Upon
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research
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research,
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this
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 issue is a highly debatable one with contrasting views in the essay
,
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;
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 both sides will be examined before giving my final opinion. On the first hand, it might be said that some humans are highly supportive of the positive effects of
video
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 records learning it is a good
way
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 to the main reason for
this
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 belief is that a good thing to see
people
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 life and learning here is an example to elucidate
this
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 point YouTube it is a good app to learn about humans life if he don't care
this
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 shows that to get a good
way
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 to make the money and how he make thing to watch him Chanel
this
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 shows that in
this
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 area you can make everything you want another crucial point you can learn in the YouTube if you have exam, to illustrate, it is a good
way
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therefore
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 ,
people
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 have tendency towards the issue.
On the other hand
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, conversaliy to the above-mentioned conceits, other
people
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 adhere to that issue to explain
this
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 point of view, they consider that
people
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 life to clarify, it not good
way
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 for the kids beacuse the
video
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 call learn in
this
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 area Brock the brain
furthermore
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, now the most chanel make
video
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 about
video
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 games and movies
for instance
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, I want my brother study in the YouTube he don't study watch
video
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 games.
Thus
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, for numerous
points
Add a comma
points,
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people
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 support the notion. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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video
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 records learn is a controversial topic
With
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with
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 different opinions.
However
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 , both sides have their merits on balance. From my perspective, I concur that I totally agree with
this
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 notion
and
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, and
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 I believe that the aforementioned points strongly support my viewpoint.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and explain it well in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use simpler sentences to express your ideas clearly and avoid confusion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points better.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about video records.
coherence cohesion
Some good ideas about learning from video content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • visual and auditory
  • cultural practices
  • daily routines
  • real-time
  • emotions and reactions
  • immersive learning experience
  • detailed information
  • visual and emotional impact
  • nuances and complexities
  • enhance our understanding
What to do next:
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