IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Bar Chart Showing Capital Expenditure from Foreign Direct Investment in India and China between 2014 and 2019”

The chart illustrates the level of arts
investment
Use synonyms
 in India and China between the years 2014 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, China’s
investment
Use synonyms
 showed a general decline over the years,
although
Linking Words
 it peaked in 2018.
In contrast
Linking Words
, India’s
investment
Use synonyms
 increased from 2014 to 2015, reaching its highest point in that year,
while
Linking Words
 2014 recorded the lowest
investment
Use synonyms
 amount. In terms of peaks and lows, China’s highest
investment
Use synonyms
 occurred in 2018, reaching approximately 140 units. Its lowest levels were seen in both 2017 and 2019, at around 50 units.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, India reached its peak in 2015 at around 65 units,
while
Linking Words
 its lowest point was in 2014 at 30. Between 2015 and 2016, India’s
investment
Use synonyms
 declined slightly from 65 to 60. Meanwhile, China’s
investment
Use synonyms
 rose from 60 to 65 in the same period.
However
Linking Words
, from 2018 to 2019, China experienced a sharp drop in
investment
Use synonyms
, falling from 130 to just 40, which represents a significant decrease within one year.

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Task Achievement
Provide a clear overview in the introduction that summarizes the main trends of the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas better between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning percentages or exact figures where applicable.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear summary of the data patterns in India and China.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of specific years to compare investments is a strong point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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