Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people claim that competitive
sports
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have a positive
impact
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on
teenagers
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'
education
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levels.
While
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others claim that it has a negative
impact
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on their
education
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levels. I personally am of the opinion that competitive
sports
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are beneficial for
teenagers
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and helpful in their
education
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.
In
Change preposition
From
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my point of view, I believe that competitive
sports
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are a good opportunity for
teenagers
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to
Verb problem
get involve
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involve
Wrong verb form
involved
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in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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because
this
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will enhance their personality,
will
Correct word choice
and will
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also
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help them
how
Verb problem
learn how
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to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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obstacles in an efficient manner. Competitive
sports
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will facilitate
teenagers
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in their
education
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because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will help them to balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both. It will
impact
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in
Change preposition
apply
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their
education
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in a positive way by getting a chance in high grades, and be able to do their homework
while
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they are feeling comfortable. Competitive
sports
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reduce stress and anxiety for
teenagers
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.
Furthermore
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, others believe that competitive
sports
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have negative effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
teenagers
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. They think that if they focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
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will not focus on their
education
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.
For instance
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, my cousin
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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classes in boxing. He said that focusing on boxing classes made him
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed
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about his
education
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. My cousin is an expert and talented in boxing,
also
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he said it had a negative
impact
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on
grades
Correct pronoun usage
his grades
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since he started boxing. His grades dropped
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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he failed in some subjects. My cousin indicates that it is hard to balance between
education
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and competitive
sports
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.
To conclude
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, competitive
sports
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are very necessary for
teenagers
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they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
will help them to be more active and flexible.
This
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will have a significant effect on their
education
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main points and connect them to the argument. Include more details in your examples to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases to make your ideas flow better. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that relates back to your thesis.
task achievement
You express a personal opinion on the topic, which adds to the essay's voice.
task achievement
You mention both views on the topic, showing that you understand the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
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