In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

In recent years, fast

food

Use synonyms

has become increasingly prevalent

due to

Linking Words

its convenience.

However

Linking Words

, the overconsumption of

such

Linking Words

food

Use synonyms

negatively affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

public health. In my opinion, it’s a reasonable measure for authorities to impose a higher tax on processed

food

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, raising taxes encourages people to consider healthier alternatives. The average price is

also

Linking Words

a significant factor influencing

consumers's

Check wording

consumers'

show examples

choice. If nutritious and pre-cooked

food

Use synonyms

cost

Correct subject-verb agreement

costs

show examples

the same, people are more likely to opt for the better option.

For instance

Linking Words

, between paying equally for a cold hamburger or a hot, healthier bowl of noodles, many would prefer the latter.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, tax revenue can be allocated to improve schools and hospitals. The government can build more educational facilities or support tuition fees for disadvantaged children.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it can

also

Linking Words

help patients suffering from cancer and other serious illnesses.

As a result

Linking Words

, higher taxation on convenience

food

Use synonyms

promotes healthier diets and develops society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, boosting taxes can cause several problems. Most consumers are average-income workers;

therefore

Linking Words

, if

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

grow, they may need to work longer

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

show examples

or change their diets to reduce expenses.

This

Linking Words

can harm their mental health and add to their financial burdens.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when fewer people consume takeaway

food

Use synonyms

, restaurants like KFC, Jollibee,..may

get

Verb problem

experience

show examples

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

in revenue, forcing some to close.

This

Linking Words

could lead to rising unemployment, creating

further

Linking Words

challenges for society.

In contrast

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

higher taxes on fast

food

Use synonyms

may bring certain disadvantages related to finance, mental health, and employment, I firmly believe

this

Linking Words

policy is necessary to encourage healthier lifestyles. --TUYẾT ANH - 257

ieltstb239bythuyanh

Jul 20, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Structure your essay clearly with separate paragraphs for each main idea. Make sure your introduction outlines what you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to show the main idea.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly link your ideas together, so the reader understands how they connect.

task achievement

You presented a clear opinion and supported it with reasons and examples.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the issue, which shows good critical thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
obesity
diabetes
heart disease
health outcomes
healthcare costs
consumer behavior
socio-economic backgrounds
ethical implications
public health campaigns
subsidies
regulations
nutritional content
healthier food options
government intervention

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In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on alien planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend money addressing the problems of the public. To what extent do you agree?

Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays,a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatmens instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people believe that government grants should be offered to people to encourage them to buy electric vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?