IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People damage the property of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and they should do community service as a punishment rather than pay some
monet
Correct your spelling
money
 or go to jail. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I'll
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 agree with the statement. Some people who didn't
behaved
Wrong verb form
behave
show examples
 well
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their parents usually damage their
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 because of couldn't control their anger.
Thus
Linking Words
, they should be responsible
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 actions and have to understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how
it is important
Correct word order
important it is
show examples
 to appreciate someone else's work
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 they behave.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i'm
Fix capitalization
I'm
show examples
 supporting the idea of cleaning the parks,
moping
Use the right word
mopping
show examples
 the building floor or cleaning the toilets. Because they don't
realize
Use the right word
realise
show examples
 even they have to
more pay
Correct word order
pay more
show examples
 money or go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they only wish
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revenge. So that we could demonstrate the value of
department
Correct article usage
the department
show examples
 by making a new rule to do
precious
Correct article usage
a precious
show examples
 thing in our country.
Also
Linking Words
, engaging in community service can provide valuable skills and a better understanding of citizenship. In conclusion, they can not know the value of someone
else is
Use the right word
else's
show examples
 work, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 have to go the prison to
get
Verb problem
gain
show examples
 knowledge of citizenship
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
hence
Punctuation problem
hence,
show examples
 we should
enter
Verb problem
implement
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the property or repaying what
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 did until they have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of responsibility.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay has some good ideas, but you need to clearly explain them. Try to give more details so that readers can understand your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help your essay flow better and make it easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with your spelling and grammar. Many words are misspelled, and this affects how well you communicate your ideas. Take your time to check your work.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and you stick to it throughout the essay, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • damage
  • public property
  • punishment
  • community service
  • cleaning
  • parks
  • value
  • impact
  • responsibility
  • connection
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitation
  • skills
  • citizenship
  • offender
  • understand
  • promote
  • effective
  • alternative
  • future
What to do next:
Look at other essays: