IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Currently, there is a growing debate about whether it is reasonable to
accpect
Correct your spelling
accept
 some bad
Use synonyms
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
an unfavorable
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unfavorable
Use the right word
unfavourable
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job
Use synonyms
 or
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of money,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
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think it
should
Verb problem
is necessary to
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 try to improve
such
Linking Words
 situations. In
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
responding
Replace the word
response
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 discussion of both views and give my perspective in the final conclusion. On one hand, there are convincing
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of the opinion that the best way to face a bad
situation
Use synonyms
 is to accept it. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 there is no other choice,
then
Linking Words
accpect
Correct your spelling
accepting
 the bad
situation
Use synonyms
 is more realistic in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
.
Check wording
situation.
show examples
For example
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, in the
job
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 market, many
people
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 may not get the
job
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 they really want.
Instead
Linking Words
, they have to accept a position they do not like because they need income to support themselves or their families. In
such
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 cases, adapting to the
situation
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 is seen as a practical and responsible choice.
On the other hand
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, it's
euqally
Correct your spelling
equally
 important to consider that
people
Use synonyms
 should always try to improve their
situation
Use synonyms
, which is because making efforts to change things can lead to a better life.
For instance
Linking Words
, if someone is unhappy with their
job
Use synonyms
, they can take training courses or learn new skills to apply for a better position, which is
also
Linking Words
benifited
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for their career development.
Therefore
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,
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to improve
such
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 bad situations could lead to more success for
people
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 accepting reality may be necessary in some short-term situations, it is more important to try and improve them whenever possible. By making efforts to change,
people
Use synonyms
 have the chance to achieve personal growth and live a more satisfying life.

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coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each main idea.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas for better support and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar; some words are misspelled.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views well.
task achievement
You have a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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