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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
The bar chart illustrates the
highest
Correct word choice
top
show examples
 ten
countries
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 for the generation and
consumption
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 of
power
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 in 2014.
To sum up
Linking Words
,China ranked first in the
power
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 production and usage among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all ten
countries
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,followed by the United
States
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.What's more,the majority of the ten
countries
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 had higher production than
consumption
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 ,except Germany. In detail
.
Punctuation problem
,
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there were only three
Use synonyms
countries'data
Correct your spelling
countries
 more than one thousand billion
kWh
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:China,the United
States
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 and Russia.China,with the figure of production and
consumption
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 both higher than five
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
,surpassed the total of Russia(about 1 thousand) and the United
States
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(about 4
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
).Among the other
countries
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 under 1 thousand,Korea,Rep had the minimum
power
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 industry
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
 both
the manufaction
Check wording
manufacturing
show examples
 and
consumption
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 less than 500 billion
kWh
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,there is the most obvious disparity in terms of
power
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 generation and
power
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consumption
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 in the United
States
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that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
 more than 200 billion
kWh
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
,the two in Russia were
alomst
Correct your spelling
almost
 equal,only 20billion
kWh
Use synonyms
 in difference.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, consumption, power, states, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
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