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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
The bar chart compares the variations in terms of the production and the
consumption
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 of
electricity
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 in
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 ten nations in the year of 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, producing
electricity
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 stood out
a
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as a
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more leading category than consuming
electricity
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 in nine countries except Germany. Notably, China accounted for the highest proportion significantly,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Korea, the production and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
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 were minimal. In terms of China, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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of
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for
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electricity
Use synonyms
 generation and
consumption
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 were similar, both around 5300
billion
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kWh
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the US was ranked
first,
Linking Words
which generated
electricity
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 with 4099
billion
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kWh
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slightly
Punctuation problem
, slightly
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 higher than
consumption
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 (3866
billion
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kWh
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). The two figures of
electricity
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 in Russia were close, both with roughly 1000
billion
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kWh
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Korea constituted the smallest share of
electricity
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 generation and
consumption
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, at 485.1
billion
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kWh
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 and 449.5
billion
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kWh
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. With regard to
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 six countries, the sum of
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 proportions above
equaled
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equalled
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to
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that
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those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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in China.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, electricity, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
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