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Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

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The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
The bar chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
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 the top ten countries for the
production
Use synonyms
 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States had far higher
electricity
Use synonyms
production
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 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 than all
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 eight countries.
Beside
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Besides
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, most nations produced more
electricity
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 than they consumed,
while
Linking Words
 Germany was the only exception. China ranked first in both
production
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 and
consumption
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 of
electricity
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, with 5398
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
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 and 5322
billion
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kWh
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. Following
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 the US was the second largest in the two aspects, with
production
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 of 4099
billion
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kWh
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 and
consumption
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 of 3866
billion
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kWh
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, Russia came
third,
Linking Words
its
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with its
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production
Use synonyms
 at 1057
billion
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kWh
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, which was almost equal to its
consumption
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 of 1038
billion
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kWh
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. The remaining five countries shared the same situation as China,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States, and Russia, with
production
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 higher than
consumption
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.
However
Linking Words
, Germany was different, as its
consumption
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 was higher than its output. And
then
Linking Words
, its
consumption
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 was 582.5
billion
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kWh
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,
while
Linking Words
production
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 was just 526.6
billion
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kWh
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, consumption, electricity, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
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