IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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Introduction
ITS
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IT'S
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 OFTEN
SIDE
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SAID
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 THAT
TECHNOLOGY
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 IS ESSENTIAL FOR
PEOPLE
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. SOME
PEOPLE
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 BELIEVE THAT
TECHNOLOGY
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 IS SOARING THE
GAB
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GAP
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 BETWEEN THE RICH AND THE POOR
PEOPLE
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.
ON THE OTHER
Linking Words
HAND
Add a comma
HAND,
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 OTHER
PEOPLE
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 THINK IT HAS AN OPPOSITE EFFECT.
Body · 1
MOREOVER
Linking Words
,
PEOPLE
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 WHO THINK THAT
TECHNOLOGY
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 IS A MAJOR THING IN OUR
LIFE
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
THEY
Verb problem
They are
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 IN THE RIGHT SIDE.
BRCAUSE
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BECAUSE
 IT CAN
DEVLOP
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DEVELOP
 OUR DAILY LIFESTYLE.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, IT HELPS
PEOPLE
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 DOING
THERE
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THEIR
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 WORKS. BY THE WAY,
PEOPLE
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 NOWADAYS CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT
TECHNOLOGY
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.
IN ADDITION
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, IT
ASSIST
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assists people
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PEOPLE
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MAKING
Change preposition
in MAKING
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 HOUSES,OFFICES,INTERIOR DESIGN AND
YOUE OWN
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your own
 STYLE.
Body · 2
ON THE OTHER HAND
Linking Words
, THERE ARE SOME
PEOPLE
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 WHO THINK THAT
TECHNOLOGY
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 GIVES OPPOSIDE SCORE IN OUR
LIFE
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
IN ADDITION
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, IT CAN MAKE OUR SOCIETY LAZY.
ALSO
Linking Words
, NOWADAYS
TECHNOLOGY
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 IS SO BAD
Punctuation problem
, INFORTUNATLY
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INFORTUNATLY
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UNFORTUNATELY
. AT THE
RESAULT
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RESULT
,
PEOPLE
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 WILL NOT OPEN AND PROMOTE THEIR
MANTEL
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MANTLE
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 AND MIND. SO,
Linking Words
THIS TYPE
Fix the agreement mistake
THESE TYPES
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 OF
PEOPLE
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NOT
Verb problem
ARE NOT
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 GOING TO SUPPORT
TECHNOLOGY
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.
Body · 3
THEREFORE
Linking Words
, IN MY
OPINION
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OPINION,
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 I THINK THAT I AM BETWEEN BOTH OF THESE OPINIONS. SO, BALANCE IS THE BETTER SOLUTION.
IN ADDITION
Linking Words
,
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 SHOULD
INCREASE
Verb problem
apply
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THE RAISE
Correct determiner usage
raise
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AWARNESS
Correct your spelling
awareness
.
Conclusion
ALL IN ALL,
PEOPLE
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 SHOULD RESPECT
OTHERS
Check wording
OTHERS'
show examples
 OPINIONS. AT THE
RESAULT
Correct your spelling
RESULT
, WE WILL GET LIFE IN PEACE.

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task achievement
Your introduction is unclear. Try to give a clearer statement of both views.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas clearly. This helps with the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. This makes your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar. Many words are misspelled.
task achievement
You presented both views, which is good for this type of essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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