IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Human behaviour
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 always
the
Verb problem
been the
show examples
 topic of discussion
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many centuries. Some folks want
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanging
life
Use synonyms
 and want to live in
traditional
Correct article usage
a traditional
show examples
 society
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
critics
Check wording
apply
show examples
like exploring new places. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons behind
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 changing attitude. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
 of it and will illustrate the sunny side of change.
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, people have been born into
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 belief in
Correct article usage
the tradition
show examples
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 way of living. They argue that their ancestor
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been following
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
Use synonyms
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
 for decades. They successfully survive because of their habits.
As a result
Linking Words
, they want to stick with their old rules.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 it is not easy to adopt change. Everyone knows that interrupting habits will create
mess
Correct article usage
a mess
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Relocation has
been always
Correct word order
always been
show examples
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 for any individual. Person need to adjust everything from their home to shopping. So some
masses
Check wording
people
show examples
 decide to stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
born place
Use the right word
birthplace
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many historical evidences
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that change is essential for evolution. It is evident that many groundbreaking
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
has been happen
Wrong verb form
have happened
show examples
due to
Linking Words
person’s
Fix the agreement mistake
people’s
show examples
 different
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Columbus identified
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 country because he
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to explore
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 land. He found the United States of America
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
superpower
Correct article usage
a superpower
show examples
 of the world.
As a result
Linking Words
 of his dedication
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 USA is connected to the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, social reforms are
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for the growth of the society.
This
Linking Words
 view
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
 as some rituals need to be demolished if it is not relevant to
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
 time. In many muslim countries
educating
Punctuation problem
, educating
show examples
 women is
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
 to be taboo in older
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. But currently, education is essential for the growth of the family. If both members are working in
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
, they can cop
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with high inflation and will
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion,
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some beliefs to remain
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
during
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 whole
life
Use synonyms
. Like respecting culture
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 positive relation is the key to
survive
Replace the word
survival
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 competitive world. It
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
equally
Correct article usage
an equally
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impact
Correct word choice
significant impact
show examples
 on individual growth
as well as
Linking Words
 cultural survival.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
task achievement
Use clear examples from your own experience or from well-known facts to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. There are a few mistakes that can confuse the reader.
introduction/conclusion
You provide a good introduction and conclusion which are important for structure.
relevant specific examples
You make a good attempt to provide examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Skepticism
  • Inevitable
  • Progression
  • Innovation
  • Cultural identity
  • Familiarity
  • Aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Economic stability
  • Global awareness
  • Personal growth
What to do next:
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