IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending a holiday in your own country compared to traveling abroad? Discuss both perspectives and provide your opinion on whether staying local or traveling internationally is more beneficial.

some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spend
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 holidays by
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other prefer
so
Use the right word
to
show examples
 stay in
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 hometown.
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each perspective, and give you the positives and
nigatives
Correct your spelling
negatives
 about them, and
opinion
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more beneficial. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 holiday by
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 and exploring countries, but they might miss some joy by being far from their families and
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, in
islam
Fix capitalization
Islam
show examples
 we have EID
Punctuation problem
, wich
show examples
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
 is an
islamic
Fix capitalization
Islamic
show examples
holyiday
Correct your spelling
holiday
Punctuation problem
. some
show examples
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 travel during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
EID and they might feel
sort
Check wording
a sense
show examples
 of isolation
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 they can't meet
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
celebraiting
Correct your spelling
celebrating
 EID with them.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand,
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 during a holiday can be beneficial, if they travel with
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 families and
friends
Punctuation problem
friends,
show examples
 it can be more fun and lead to happiness and joy and
Correct article usage
an unforgetable
show examples
unforgetable jorney
Correct your spelling
unforgettable journey
.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
, the other prefer to stay in
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own country. half of them enjoy
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being close
with with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 parents and
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
while
Linking Words
 the other
wish
Correct subject-verb agreement
wishes
show examples
 to travel abroad, but they can't afford it
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 they stay in
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 hometown.
and
Fix capitalization
And
show examples
 it's not bad to stay in your country in the holidays, because being able to see and meet
people
Use synonyms
 from your culture
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 you feel happy and
greatful
Correct your spelling
grateful
. In my opinion, spending a holiday by
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 abroad is better than
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 in your own country because
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
empracing
Correct your spelling
immerses
 you
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the cultures and
open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
show examples
a
Change preposition
up a
show examples
lot of opportunities, and the advantages
outwight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly state your main points in each paragraph. Make sure your ideas are easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Add a stronger introduction and conclusion to better frame your discussion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
Take care with spelling and grammar to make your writing clearer.
content
You make good points about the feelings of isolation when traveling during holidays.
content
Your opinion at the end is clear and stated well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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