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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph displays data about the
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of students learning to play different instruments over the period of 2005 and 2015. Generally speaking, the total
amount
Check wording
number
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 of school children
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 learned to play instruments is getting higher. A prominent feature is that piano and guitar are the most popular choices, remaining the top two ratios each year. Each started from approximately 10% in 2005 to a little less than 40% a decade later.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the fraction of children playing drums
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the lowest in 2005 and 2010, only about 5% but rose to more or less 8% in 2015, overtaking the number of violin players as second to
last
Linking Words
,

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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