Some people consider playing sports is beneficial for schoolchildren. Some, however, believe sport activities also have some drawbacks. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of children playing sports.

Society believes that
schooling
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apply
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students
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gain advantages from being involved in
sports
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,
while
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some emphasise that there can be several detriments as well. From my point of view, I have a balanced view regarding
this
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situation. There are numerous gains pupils obtain through playing
sports
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and games.
Firstly
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, often physical activity leads to better cardiovascular health, a strong
immunity
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immune
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system, and mental well-being.
For instance
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, exercising supports primary
children
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’s cognitive development
according to
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the research. Apart from that, pupils
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apply
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build up qualities
such
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as leadership, teamwork, unity, and empathy when interacting with other schoolmates. In fact, being involved in
sports
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may contribute to personality development and encouragement among
students
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in
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at
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their early
ages
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age
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.
Sports
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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essential for
children
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to learn how to make a decision and perform something in front of a gathering of people.
While
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team games
such
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as netball and volleyball teach people to perform as a team, games
such
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as chess build up the person individually.
In contrast
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, when it comes to detriments,
students
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do not obtain a sufficient period of time to concentrate on their studies when they get exhausted. In most cases,
sports
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practice is held after school.
Further
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, calorie-dense foods should be consumed by
children
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, as extreme physical activities may lead to nutrient deficiencies and underweight.
Besides
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,
students
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who do not perform well
at
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in
show examples
sports
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may be isolated and subjected to teasing from others. In conclusion,
according to
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the above instances, it is evident that
children
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's involvement in
sports
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has advantages
as well as
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disadvantages.
Nevertheless
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,
children
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should engage in
sports
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, balancing their academics.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes, your ideas need to be more focused.
task achievement
Use clear examples to back up your points, such as more specific studies or surveys.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking words to smoothly connect your points. This helps readers follow your ideas more easily.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, mentioning both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and address the topic well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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