some people argue that too much attention and too many resources have been given to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today`s contemporary era,
focus
Correct article usage
the focus
show examples
on wildlife is increasing significantly. Everyone
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
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that
Correct article usage
the projection
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projection
Use the right word
protection
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and safety of birds and wild
animals
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are increasing. In my opinion,
this
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is important to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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protection to wild
animals
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and other species, because those
animals
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play
vital
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a vital
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role
to
Change preposition
in
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the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
and the natural food chain.
To begin
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with, the main aim
to protect
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of protecting
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wild
animals
Use synonyms
is to maintain
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forest
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the forest
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and
global
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the global
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food chain.
Due to
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this
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, wild
animals
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eat other
animals
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in the
forest
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, so the population of some small
animals
Use synonyms
can be controlled, which is harmful for humans and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farming.
Moreover
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, some
animals
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are very less in population, which can be
save
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saved
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by
this
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kind of funding and programmes.
This
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can keep the culture and
haritage
Correct your spelling
heritage
alive.
For instance
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, there was an article in the Times of India which says saving
animals
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such
Linking Words
as the lion and the tiger can keep
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the balence
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balence
Correct your spelling
balance
of the
forest
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and
ragulate
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regulate
the wildlife cycle. The government
spending
Verb problem
is spending
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more and more
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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to save
this
Linking Words
kind of
birds
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bird
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and wild
animals
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, and create new methods to count
population
Correct article usage
the population
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of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
animals
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. As
result
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a result
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of
this
Linking Words
, the
forest
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department works very
closley
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closely
with wild
animals
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, and
rescue
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rescues
show examples
them from any
dengers
Correct your spelling
dangers
.
Furthermore
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, wildlife can
also
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create
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good tourism and income for the ministry, as they can earn money from
zoo
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the zoo
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and develop the area to
increase
Verb problem
attract more
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people.
For example
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, there was
a
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apply
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research done at Western Sydney University which mentioned the authorities can spend a huge money to save
this
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rare species and
this
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gives
balence
Correct your spelling
balance
to the climate. In conclusion, the ministry should focus on saving the earth and the climate
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
saving rare birds and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild
animals
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. In my view,
this
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can control the
forest
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and culture, as
this
Linking Words
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
the earth from upcoming
dengers
Correct your spelling
dangers
.

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Task Response
Your introduction states your opinion, which is good. But make sure it is clear and strong. You can also briefly mention the opposing view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use simpler sentences to connect your ideas better. This will help your points flow smoothly from one to another.
Task Response
Make sure to give more examples that directly relate to your main points. This will help make your argument stronger and more clear.
Task Achievement
You clearly expressed your opinion on the importance of protecting wildlife, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
Task Achievement
You included some relevant examples, which is good for supporting your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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