IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People say it is the responsibility of the residents to keep the environment clean and tidy while others think it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
Linking Words
 some people think that a neat environment should be entirely
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 of the
government
Use synonyms
. Others opine that it is the
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 job to take care of their
surroundings
Check wording
surroundings'
show examples
 condition. I
stronly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe that it is a teamwork matter and both sides are involved as both of them live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same planet. First and foremost, one significant reason why taking care of the climate is governments' matter is that they are responsible for the quality of
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
.
For example
Linking Words
: placing garbage cans
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every 1
kilometer
Use the right word
kilometre
show examples
 will help people to throw their trash in allocated places rather than leave it on the streets
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may affect the Atmosphere. Another reason
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
 affect it is the factories in the middle of the cities, which could be built outside of them to prevent the fumes
afecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
 not only the environment but the residents as well.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the role of the citizens in
this
Linking Words
 matter is equal to the
government
Use synonyms
. As they could help their
surrouding
Correct your spelling
surroundings
 in everyday activities.
Such
Linking Words
 as:
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 to different places by walking or using public transportation
instead
Linking Words
 of driving
Correct article usage
a cars
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 for each member.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they could use recyclable materials to wear or for shopping bags. These small habits will certainly improve individuals' quality of life. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that to maintain a healthy environment, both the
government
Use synonyms
 and people should team up together for
this
Linking Words
long lasting
Use the right word
long-lasting
show examples
 goal, the individual simply by daily
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, and the
government
Use synonyms
 by making their projects for
Correct article usage
the environments'
show examples
environments'
Check wording
environment's
show examples
 sake.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples and explanations for your points.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammar errors. For example, 'stronly' should be 'strongly'.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas, such as 'firstly', 'additionally', 'however'.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You mention both sides of the argument, which shows you understand the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your intent to call for teamwork is a strong point in your conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: