IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, information technology has enabled
people
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 to
work
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 remotely.
People
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 start to prefer online jobs rather than
onsite
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 jobs
due to
Linking Words
 their circumstances.
This
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 essay will discuss about benefits of working remotely.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 prefer to
work
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 remotely because it saves
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
time
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. They have more
time
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 to focus on their lives ,
such
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 as to spend more
time
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 with their families, to learn new things, to do sports exercises
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
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 will lead to balancing their life in an efficient way.
For instance
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, my father has worked remotely since 2020. He stated that it is beneficial for him
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
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 helped him to do his
work
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 tasks in an appropriate manner.
While
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 he was working
onsite
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, my father used to be stressed
due to
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 his lack of
time
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 management. He was not able to balance his life and
work
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together
Rephrase
apply
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. Now, my father has accomplished multiple things
when
Correct word choice
since
show examples
 he started working remotely.
On the contrary
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, some
people
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 would rather
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
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onsite
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. When they
work
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 in their offices, they enjoy
to meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
 their colleagues. They claim that working
onsite
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 will help them to be extroverted with other colleagues from different nationalities. Some
people
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 claim that they will gain more skills
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as communication, leadership, public speaking, and presentation. Those who are working on-site will gain these skills rather than those who
work
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 remotely.
To conclude
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, I would argue that working remotely is a great idea. These days, many
people
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 prefer to
work
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 online
instead
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 of wasting
time
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 going to the office.
This
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 will save their
time
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 and
also
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 give them
time
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 to live their lives.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main argument in the introduction and summarize it effectively in the conclusion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your points and provide a deeper understanding of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of your ideas to make the essay easier to follow, connecting your points more clearly.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about remote work and highlight its advantages well.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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