IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem, others believe that human beings are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

This
Linking Words
 essay argued that human beings must act to
slove
Use the right word
solve
show examples
 the issue of
animals
Use synonyms
 facing the current
denger
Correct your spelling
danger
 of no longer existing.
while
Linking Words
 others
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 human proportion is the only essential species on the plant. I believe
That
Fix capitalization
that
show examples
 both
humans
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
important
Verb problem
are important
show examples
 because they
complete
Verb problem
complement
show examples
 each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
. On the first hand,
Humans
Use synonyms
 must stop hunting
animals
Use synonyms
with out
Use the right word
without
show examples
athorition
Correct your spelling
authorisation
,
due to
Linking Words
 the significant
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 life
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
with
Change preposition
Without
show examples
no
Rephrase
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 like
cows
Punctuation problem
cows,
show examples
 the population can not survive with the lack of food.
For example
Linking Words
, a research has been
puplished
Correct your spelling
published
 in 2011,
demonstrate
Wrong verb form
demonstrating
show examples
 that the majority of poor countries have a sharp decrease of living
anaimals
Correct your spelling
animals
amount
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people and countries must act in the
benefits
Check wording
best interests
show examples
 of the
animals
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 struggle to exist
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of them
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
only the
Correct word order
the only
show examples
 thing
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
show examples
 continue is the human being
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exist
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 purpose which
is hunting them
Wrong verb form
being hunted
show examples
 or
cooking them
Wrong verb form
cooked
show examples
, so they think it
okay
Verb problem
is okay
show examples
 if one kind
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 no longer there, because they have
viraity
Correct your spelling
various
 kinds, like dogs
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and cats. For
instense
Correct your spelling
instance
, a survey in 2011, displays the
usa
Use the right word
USA
show examples
 population about the
nesseary
Correct your spelling
necessity
 of doing something for the
animals
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hunters, only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minority
responed
Correct your spelling
responded
 that they want to help the species
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 becoming extinct.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
, those
humans
Use synonyms
 are selfish and they have to educate
them self of
Use the right word
themselves about
show examples
 the
dengers
Correct your spelling
dangers
 of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 vanish on
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
humans
Use synonyms
 have two ideas about what
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
 essential
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some see
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 human being
are
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 more important,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 see that people and states must
give
Verb problem
take
show examples
 action for the
animals
Use synonyms
. I think
humans
Use synonyms
 must do things to benefit the
animals
Use synonyms
. For
recommendation
Fix the agreement mistake
recommendations
show examples
, the states must put
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict rules for punishing the hunters.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline the main points you will discuss. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. Make sure to link them logically to help readers follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid spelling mistakes like 'slove' instead of 'solve' and 'denger' instead of 'danger'. Use simple words correctly.
task achievement
Your conclusion should summarize your main ideas again and clearly state your opinion. It seems a bit rushed.
task achievement
You present both views on the topic, which shows an understanding of the issue.
task achievement
You provide reasons for your opinions, which is good for argument essays.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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