In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

In a few countries, some firms and restaurants offer money to academics to advertise their products for children. And that happened by making products that are made especially for them and
use
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using
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these products in their advertisements, and
as a result
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of that, it increases their revenue.
This
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essay will discuss the benefits of it and
if
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whether
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it
does have
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has
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any drawbacks on
the
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apply
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children
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children's
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growth.
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with, fast foods have
a
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apply
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dangerous effects, and sometimes they can
reach
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lead
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to
a
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apply
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death
case
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apply
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.
However
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, we can explain those effects by knowing
,
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apply
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how
are they
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they are
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being
cook it
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cooked
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, it's mostly cooked with oil, and
besides
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that
the
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, the
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ingredients that are being added to it, Ketchup, and garlic.
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Anyway
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Anyways
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Anyways,
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these
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components
can cause a lot of problems, like diabetes and heart attack, cancer, etc.

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structure
Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
coherence
Use more simple linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points, like mentioning how junk food advertising can influence children's choices.
strength
You introduced the topic nicely and stated that the essay will discuss both positive and negative sides.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: