IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam.’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 around the world
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 recently increased
300
Change preposition
by 300
show examples
%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have increased their
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
 as well. The question is,
How
Fix capitalization
how
show examples
 can we
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
 people to avoid using their
cars
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In my opinion,
Creating
Fix capitalization
creating
show examples
 public transformation helps to decrease
traffic
Use synonyms
jams
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to introduce solutions to decrease the
traffic
Use synonyms
jams
Use synonyms
 in the cities. First of all,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 families used to own only one
car
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the present decade
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 families own more than two
cars
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
,
We
Fix capitalization
we
show examples
 should find a plan to help the city from
traffic
Use synonyms
jams
Use synonyms
.
Inrease
Correct your spelling
Increasing
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 can help to stop using their own
car
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 people
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Saudi Arabia used to drive their
cars
Use synonyms
 all the time
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 the
price
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
petrol
Change preposition
of petrol
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 nowadays they do not drive their
cars
Use synonyms
 as much as they used to
drive
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
jams
Use synonyms
 are a huge challenge for the governments. If the
government
Use synonyms
 can not increase the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
,
so
Rephrase
then
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they had better
creat
Use the right word
create
show examples
 a public
transpotration
Correct your spelling
transportation
Linking Words
such
Check wording
system such
show examples
 as buses or metro.
The public
Correct determiner usage
Public
show examples
 transportation helps to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
jams
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Oman, the
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 there used to spend an hour in a
car
Use synonyms
 to go to their work
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 created a public transportation
and
Check wording
system and
show examples
 they
spend
Correct word order
now spend
show examples
hald
Correct your spelling
half
 an hour in their
car
Use synonyms
now
Correct word order
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, I would argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation
as
Use the right word
is
show examples
 a
permanitly
Correct your spelling
permanent
 solution is perfect,
Also
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 can increase the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 as a
temprorary
Correct your spelling
temporary
 solution.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
task achievement
Ensure your points are fully explained so the reader understands them.
task achievement
You have provided examples to support your points, which is good!

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • economic losses
  • public transportation
  • congestion charge
  • carpooling
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • urban planning
  • incentives
  • electric car usage
  • environmental impact
  • dependency on cars
  • fuel wastage
What to do next:
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