IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Employees
Use synonyms
 should have a longer
weekend
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 working
hours
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 should be shortened.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Gaining longer weekends will increase the mental and physical health of the
employees
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 having short
week
Check wording
working
show examples
hours
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 will boost the performance quality for
workers
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. Having long weekends can enhance the mental and physical state of
employees
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. Every employee dreams of having a long
weekend
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 as it gives them time to relax from
work
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 pressure and
having
Verb problem
apply
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to
wake
Wrong verb form
avoid waking
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 up early for
work
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.
According to
Linking Words
 a survey with more than 100 worker 95% of them agreed on having a long
weekend
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 different opinions
, some
Punctuation problem
. Some
show examples
 said that they want to spend time with their family during it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 many said that they want to have time for themselves. By cutting weekly working
Use synonyms
hours
Punctuation problem
hours,
show examples
workers
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 will be able to produce high-quality performances
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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, the
employees
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' absences will face a noticeable decrease.
That is
Linking Words
 because having long
hours
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worth
Check wording
apply
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of
work
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 leaves
employees
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 in a
stress
Check wording
apply
show examples
state where the possibility of producing a high-quality performance is unlikely
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
also
Linking Words
, by having long working
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hours
Punctuation problem
hours,
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employees
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 face a huge amount of
exhaustion
Punctuation problem
exhaustion,
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 that
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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ask
Verb problem
to ask
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 for a day off.
whereas
Linking Words
, when they cut working
hours
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,
workers
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 will be motivated to
work
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 more because there will be no pressure on them or stress, and that will decrease the amount of absence for the
workers
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 and benefits
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 companies. In conclusion, cutting the weekly
work
Use synonyms
hours
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 and stretching the
weekend
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 relief makes
employees
Use synonyms
 happy,
Correct word order
results in high-quality
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high-quality
Replace the word
higher-quality
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 performances, and
results in
Correct word order
apply
show examples
fewer days off.

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are well explained and supported with examples.
coherence
Use clear connectors to help the flow of your ideas, such as 'firstly,' 'next,' and 'finally.'
coherence
Make the introduction and conclusion a bit stronger to better summarize your main points.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion stating agreement with the topic.
task achievement
Your points about mental health and work performance are relevant and important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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