IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International travel has become cheaper more and more countries have opened their doors and more tourist go abroad for travelling Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages

As it is enunciated,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has spread all over the world
according to
Linking Words
 affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 and many countries are willing to provide facilities for travellers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more people desire to travel. Albeit
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there is a dichotomy of views on
this
Linking Words
 concern, I harbour the belief that
this
Linking Words
 apprehension has positive benefits that may outdo the negative
repercussion
Fix the agreement mistake
repercussions
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.
Punctuation problem
apply
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. But it should beg for some sort of exemplification and justification. There are infallible testimonies to prove that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is one of the wealth-generating industries in the neoliberal capitalist economy.
As well as
Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
has
Rephrase
also has
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 great potential to strengthen human rights and eradicate
authoritative
Replace the word
authoritarian
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 rules.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 will be harmful to some cultural identities and
self-identification
Correct article usage
the self-identification
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 of society.  Throughout my essay, I will venture and pursue a speculative hypothesis by elaborating on my perception. At the same time, just as crucially, it is conceived as subject to the strictest, most demanding
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 standards of formal assessment with respect to the basic requirement of logical rigour and conceptual precision. I provide an interesting
characterization
Use the right word
characterisation
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 and exemplify the essential elements to justify my claim. The contemporary liberal society has profoundly placed a high premium on the value of international
tourism
Use synonyms
. It is not a fallacy to assume that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
deep
Replace the word
deeply
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 rootedly
enshrined
Verb problem
apply
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in every country's economy.
While
Linking Words
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
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 or
banning
Replace the word
bans
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 on
tourism
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been conspicuously challenged. The proportion who
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
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 global culture would believe that all societies are all the better for these changes, but, no doubt to say, some limitations of
tourism
Use synonyms
 implementation in some countries have not totally disappeared.  There are infallible social impulses to prove that the country opens up to the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 the human rights standards are improved
due to
Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
. It is not a fallacy to assume that the dilemma posed by the effect of international
tourism
Use synonyms
 preponderantly divides society.
This
Linking Words
 profound vexed question which critically debated in social, cultural and
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 atmospheres. There is a natural antagonism to cultural commodification through
tourism
Use synonyms
. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it egregiously distorts self-identification and traditional belief.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some heritage and archaeological value places can be converted into entertainment places.
This
Linking Words
 controversial development may be a huge threat to the cultural identity of the country. 
To sum up
Linking Words
, 
tourism
Use synonyms
 has both pros and cons by evaluating the rudimentary conundrum and other possible preponderant outcomes, any individual would be able to respect my hypothesis and stance, irrespective of their biased views on
this
Linking Words
 topic.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea. This will help readers follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to introduce your points. This will help with structure.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay stronger.
task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction. It should be clear what side you are on regarding tourism.
task achievement
Your essay shows understanding of the topic and presents different viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The language used is varied and shows effort.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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