IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

TOPIC: A love for tradition has never weakened a country, but it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril. Discuss the statement and give your own opinion.

Tradition
Use synonyms
 is something
that is
Linking Words
 very close to the heart of the
country
Use synonyms
.Loving the
tradition
Use synonyms
 is not something that makes the nation weaker
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 like the powerful weapons during
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 hardest times.As some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is
tedious
Correct article usage
a tedious
show examples
 task to maintain various
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 not often true. Not only
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
tradition is
Correct word order
is tradition
show examples
 the identity of the
country
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Linking Words
also it
Correct word order
it also
show examples
 protects the
Use synonyms
country's
Check wording
country
show examples
 during difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. Those
believing
Correct word choice
who believe
show examples
tradition
Use synonyms
 makes the
country
Use synonyms
 weak
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 has to work a lot
for managing
Change preposition
to manage
show examples
 them.
since
Fix capitalization
Since
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
a lot of
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy has been invested in those
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
,they assume that money could be
utilized
Use the right word
utilised
show examples
 in
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
better places.To develop the
country
Use synonyms
,emphasis must be
provided
Verb problem
placed
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 more infrastructure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 development
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 education,health,transportation and many more. Every
country
Use synonyms
 has its own cultures and
traditions
Use synonyms
.There are various festivals which are followed by
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 genre of
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are numerous
traditons
Correct your spelling
traditions
 followed by different
people
Use synonyms
,they equally respect each
others
Check wording
other's
show examples
Use synonyms
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,Nepal is a secular
country
Use synonyms
 where there are different types of
traditions
Use synonyms
 followed by different
people
Use synonyms
.Our
country
Use synonyms
 is known all over the world for having
varieties
Fix the agreement mistake
a variety
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
.Festivals like
dashain
Fix capitalization
Dashain
show examples
,
tihar
Fix capitalization
Tihar
show examples
,
christmas
Fix capitalization
Christmas
show examples
,
eid
Fix capitalization
Eid
show examples
 and many more are celebrated during various
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of the year.Every
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
show examples
 visiting Nepal
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 the warmth of love given by each different
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
.They are fascinated by our ways of marriage
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 even some of them ended up marrying here. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
 are the building blocks of the
country
Use synonyms
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even
,it may not contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the rise of the
country
Use synonyms
 always,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 it certainly
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
 contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the downfall.High authorities must work to maintain the
traditions
Use synonyms
 of the
country
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are making our
country
Use synonyms
 proud.Eventually,
there
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 should work on how
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
we
utilize
Use the right word
utilise
show examples
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
 benefits from
traditions
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and easy to understand. Try to explain your points in a simpler way.
coherence
Use linking words to help connect your ideas. This makes your writing flow better and helps the reader follow your thoughts.
coherence
Make sure to check your grammar and punctuation to avoid mistakes that can make it hard to read.
positive
You provided good examples from Nepal's culture and festivals, showing a clear understanding of traditions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tradition
  • strengthened
  • nation
  • country
  • united
  • belonging
  • festivals
  • cultural
  • pride
  • times
  • crisis
  • support
  • stability
  • values
  • changes
  • innovative
  • ideas
  • modern
  • roots
  • challenges
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