IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, very few young people are willing to do unpaid community service ( for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching spots to younger children.) What problems might this cause ? What do you think is the best solve these problems

In some communities, some individuals are ready to work in unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 (
such
Linking Words
 as charity
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 and
ameliorating
Verb problem
improving
show examples
 the neighbourhood or
help to
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 individuals to train in
sprot
Correct your spelling
sports
.
While
Linking Words
 there are some reasons for
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 the situation can be improved by
diffent
Correct your spelling
different
 ways . One major problem is the lack of support for important local services.
For instance
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, many small charities or local
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 rely on volunteers to run programs. When young
people
Use synonyms
 do not join, it becomes harder to help those in need or maintain clean and safe
neighborhoods
Use the right word
neighbourhoods
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it reduces social interaction between generations, which may lead to a weaker sense of
community
Use synonyms
 and belonging. Another issue is that young
people
Use synonyms
 miss out on valuable personal development opportunities. Volunteering helps build skills like teamwork, communication, and leadership. Without these chances, young
people
Use synonyms
 might struggle later when they enter the workforce or higher education. It
also
Linking Words
 means they may not develop a strong sense of social responsibility. To
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
Linking Words
 problem, schools and governments should take active steps.
Firstly
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,
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 could be included as part of the school curriculum.
This
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 would allow students to gain experience
while
Linking Words
also
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 receiving academic credit. In
aditition
Correct your spelling
addition
, the individuals should attend extra courses and spend their time for learn .
Lastly
Linking Words
, offering small rewards or recognition, like certificates or public appreciation, might motivate more youth to get involved. In conclusion, the lack of youth participation in
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 can weaken communities and limit young
people
Use synonyms
’s growth. By making
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 part of education and highlighting its benefits, more young
people
Use synonyms
 can be encouraged to contribute positively to society.

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Language
Make sure to use correct spelling and grammar. For example, 'address' instead of 'adress' and 'addition' instead of 'aditition'.
Language
Try to use a more varied range of vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly. Instead of 'important', use words like 'essential' or 'crucial'.
Coherence
Make sure each paragraph has clear main ideas. You can start each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas. This can make your points stronger and clearer for the reader.
Coherence
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for framing your essay.
Task Achievement
You addressed the prompt well by identifying problems and suggesting solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid
  • community service
  • charity
  • improve
  • neighborhood
  • teach
  • younger children
  • work
  • time
  • school
  • job
  • benefits
  • awareness
  • distracted
  • connected
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