IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many people believe that with
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of the
internet
Use synonyms
,
newspapers
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 are no longer relevant in our daily lives. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, since all the
information
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 or
news
Use synonyms
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 shown in
newspapers
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 freely available on the
internet
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, nowadays everyone can access any
news
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
. People use smartphones, computers, or tablets each day in their lives, for work, leisure, and other things. The
news
Use synonyms
 or useful
information
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that could be presented in
newspapers
Use synonyms
, which are not free of charge,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 available on the
internet
Use synonyms
 for everyone, without any additional payment.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
newspapers
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not show every single
news
Use synonyms
 happened previously
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
 provides access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any
information
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 people are looking for. Regarding the paper games,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are usually included in
newspapers
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, they
are
Verb problem
can
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also
Linking Words
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 easily through mobile devices.
Furthermore
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,
newspapers
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 are not
eco-frienly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
,
while
Linking Words
 the
internet
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 does not affect the environment in any way.
Newspapers
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 are made of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
, and are usually thrown away after being no longer needed. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the non-relevant
newspapers
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 can be recycled, they still require cutting trees in order to make them
initially
Linking Words
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a tool
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that does not affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature at all.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are a great source of
news
Use synonyms
 and
information
Use synonyms
, they are no longer needed in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 world, thanks to the development of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 offers a broad range of
any
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 needed,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be accessed by everyone without any additional payment,
whereas
Linking Words
newspapers
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 contain limited data, often require
paying
Replace the word
payment
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be stronger. Try to define your main points more clearly at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly' and 'finally' to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points, as this will help to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion throughout your essay, which is important for task response.
task achievement
Your points about the environmental impact of newspapers are relevant and interesting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
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