IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 are working from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and children are reading from
house
Check wording
home
show examples
 as technology has become easily available and affordable.I concur that it is a negative development as
Use synonyms
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 and
school
Use synonyms
 are not just for reading and working,it is the place to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 friends.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,these places are the space where we can learn to live a
discipline
Replace the word
disciplined
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Though,advancement of technology has provided a
lot
Use synonyms
 of benefits in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,the social
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 we get in
school
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 are far more advantageous for us.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 group of friends we have around matters a
lot
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 shaping our mindset.There is a quote"A good friend is far better than thousands of
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
".The knowledge and experience we get from a friend can not be learned from books.
School
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 is not only about studying books,it's about learning new things in
everyway
Correct your spelling
every way
 possible.
Moreover
Linking Words
,there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a set of rules and regulations in the
school
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 and
workplace
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 which should be followed in order to sustain
there
Correct pronoun usage
oneself there
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.By doing
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they are able to inculcate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good habits in
the
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apply
show examples
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
,we have to reach
school
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 and
Use synonyms
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 on
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
otherwise
Linking Words
 we will get
punishment
Replace the word
punished
show examples
.We are obliged to do
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
.
This
Linking Words
 behaviour will slowly develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discipline in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 they will apply
during
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
whole
Check wording
lives
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,since a
lot
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 of behaviours are taught in the
school
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 and
workplace
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,there must be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment to conduct physical classes and working
place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
.Learning is more enjoyable in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crowd with a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 of your own age.It will
also
Linking Words
 help us to track our progress in
life
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and gives an overview of your main points. It will help the reader understand your position right away.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases (like 'firstly', 'in addition', 'however') to connect your ideas better and make the flow smoother.
Task Response
Expand on your ideas with more examples. For instance, you could include your own experiences or studies that show the impact of learning in a group setting.
Task Achievement
You present clear reasons why you think working and studying from home is a negative development, which is a strong starting point.
Task Achievement
Your points about the importance of social connections and discipline in schools and workplaces are valuable and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
What to do next:
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