GOVERNMENTS SHOULD FOCUS THEIR SPENDIN ON PUBLIC SERVICES RATHER THAN ON THE ARTS ( EG. MUSIC AND PAINTING). TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

There is no denying the fact that the government department is more interested in the
arts
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, museums, antiquities and even ancient houses.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that concerning in public
services
Use synonyms
are more important than concerning in
arts
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that we should care or interest in public sections because they will return or come back useful and have many benefits for us in the future.
To begin
Linking Words
with, if we take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the public section, everything will be easier than before and will facilitate the rest of the things.
In other words
Linking Words
,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the employment or hiring process is going to become faster, more efficient and higher quality.
In addition
Linking Words
, education sectors, public transport and hospitals, if the government spends more money on these
services
Use synonyms
, people will be healthier, more educated and talented.
For example
Linking Words
, the economy, tourism and income are going to increase definitely. Another point to consider, the
arts
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
no less important than public
services
Use synonyms
because they keep culture, theatres and ancient places. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that the
arts
Use synonyms
give people dedication and pride in their history.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most citizens consider the
arts
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
part of public
services
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, drawing, painting, theatres and events are all considered public
services
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that as I mentioned in the introduction, public
services
Use synonyms
should be taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
the government or the country for the thriving and for its future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main point and is linked logically for better flow.
task achievement
Try to provide clearer arguments or reasons in your body paragraphs to support your opinion better.
task achievement
Use examples that are more specific and directly related to your points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, stating that public services should be prioritized.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your thoughts well and ties back to your main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public services
  • Infrastructure
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Economic growth
  • Productivity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Personal enrichment
  • Universal impact
  • Economic crises
  • Natural disasters
  • Cultural identity
  • Emotional well-being
  • Societal cohesion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: