IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What is the advantages and disadvantages?

These days, many
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 struggle with a variety of social
issues
Use synonyms
. Some
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 think that the main
reason
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 is
parents
Use synonyms
 who pay
their
Correct word order
apply
show examples
more attention
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
Correct word order
their work
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of their
children
Use synonyms
. I agree with that opinion.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 factor for these social
issues
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
Use synonyms
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 can encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a number of social
issues
Use synonyms
 cause of their
parents
Use synonyms
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 sometimes many
parents
Use synonyms
perefer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more time at work rather than
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if they have
Change the article
an
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important task that they should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do, they give digital
dives
Use the right word
devices
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
show examples
, smartphone or computer to their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. They think that by providing
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 with digital
devise
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
, they can avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
distractions. With these
Add a comma
ways,
show examples
ways
Add a comma
ways,
show examples
 they can be
Use synonyms
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
 for social
issues
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 struggle with. By spending most of their time on
smartphones
Punctuation problem
smartphones,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 may harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
.
These
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of problems occur cause of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
parent's
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 care.
Although
Linking Words
 there are
issues
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 may encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their
parents
Use synonyms
, there are some problems that do not belong to parental
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
. Sometimes
children
Use synonyms
 face a number of
issues
Use synonyms
cause
Replace the word
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 social media.
For example
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
 see different
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and websites. These can
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
be effect
Change the verb form
effect
show examples
 their
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sometimes their friends and other
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who are around them can negatively impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. Because
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 many
Use synonyms
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 are
imitiating
Correct your spelling
imitating
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
 are not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 factor for social
issues
Use synonyms
 that their
children
Use synonyms
 struggle with.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, social media and
children
Use synonyms
's friends can be
Use synonyms
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
 for these problems. There are many factors that can be
Use synonyms
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
 for social
issues
Use synonyms
 that
children
Use synonyms
 encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This helps the reader follow your ideas better.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This can help make your ideas stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. Improving these will make your writing easier to read and understand.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is very important.
task achievement
You included both sides of the argument, which shows your understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: