IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mother's and father's should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that the majority of families
convince
Wrong verb form
are convinced
show examples
 about their kids.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it is a commonly held belief that parents should learn their
children
Use synonyms
, as
entire
Correct word choice
they educate
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 them in
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
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 or
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
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 school, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that learning has many benefits for
children
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, training courses teach kids important lessons which can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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connect with people easily.
In other words
Linking Words
,
tranining
Correct your spelling
training
 courses help
children
Use synonyms
 understand life
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
real life
Use the right word
real-life
show examples
 situations.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 kids learn
valuse
Correct your spelling
values
 and emotions through the teachers
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 their minds. Another point to consider, training courses improve imagination significantly in
children
Use synonyms
, helping them to develop their ideas. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that institutes inspire creative thinking by presenting new ideas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, imagination develops
children
Use synonyms
 treatment with solve problems easily. In
cnclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, despite people having different views, I believe that learning is important
specifically
Punctuation problem
, specifically
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 for young
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 cause
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 their basis.

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task achievement
Your introduction has some good ideas, but it could be clearer. Try to state your opinion more directly and rephrase some sentences for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs have a clear topic sentence. This helps the reader understand what each paragraph is about.
coherence and cohesion
There are a few spelling mistakes and grammar errors. Review your writing for errors like 'tranining' instead of 'training'.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion in the essay, and you present some relevant points about the benefits of training courses for children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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