IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
There is no doubt that these days the
school
Use synonyms
 uniforms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important. The question is which one is better
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 give your reason? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to give my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
.
Body paragraph 1
In terms of
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
advantaged
Punctuation problem
advantaged,
show examples
 all
students
Use synonyms
 wear
school
Use synonyms
uiforms
Correct your spelling
uniforms
. The main reason to support
this
Linking Words
 claim
Body paragraph 2
Firstly
Linking Words
, is that it is important to everyone to respect the policies of the
school
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 other words, that
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us the
students
Use synonyms
 are
respetful
Correct your spelling
respectful
.
Body paragraph 3
Secondly
Linking Words
,the
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 the
colors
Use the right word
colours
show examples
 of uniforms that
simplate
Correct your spelling
represent
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 belong to what
school
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 4
This
Linking Words
 is because I think when the
school
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 is going
to
Change preposition
on to
show examples
 trip
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
prement
Correct your spelling
prompts
 the
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 around him
to
Verb problem
to get to
show examples
 know him.
Body paragraph 5
Also
Linking Words
, I think the match of
color
Use the right word
colour
show examples
 is rest to the eye rather than a lot of
color
Use the right word
colour
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is evident that some
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 require
to
Check wording
students to
show examples
 wear
school
Use synonyms
 uniforms,
other
Correct word choice
while other
show examples
 schools
access
Verb problem
allow
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to choose what to wear. I think the first one is better
accourding
Correct your spelling
according
 to my reason.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve the introduction and make sure to clearly state your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should cover one main idea.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar. Words like 'uniforms' and 'respectful' need to be spelled correctly.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about school uniforms.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: