IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the reasons of students to study a particular in a UK university in the year 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The charts below show the reasons of students to study a particular in a UK university in the year 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
The pie charts illustrate the distribution of
students
Use synonyms
 driven by different factors to study at
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 UK
university
Use synonyms
 in 1987 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, relevant degree courses remained the major driver to pursue higher education in that
university
Use synonyms
 over the period, with other determinants trailing distantly behind in terms of proportions.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
prioritized
Use the right word
prioritised
show examples
 the closer distance and top education
quality
Use synonyms
 more in the new century than they did in the previous one,
while
Linking Words
 placing lesser emphasis on the availability of fitness and social amenities. Looking first at the percentages in 1987, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 opted for the
university
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the suitability of degree courses, making up 35%. Following some way behind were the proportions of learners
prioritizing
Use the right word
prioritising
show examples
 the
quality
Use synonyms
 of materials (21%) and noteworthy physical and social pursuits (19%).
Finally
Linking Words
, exceptional instructions and convenient locations attracted only 15% and 10%
students
Use synonyms
, respectively. By 2007, the figures in the mix had shifted considerably. The relevance of degree classes
stayed as
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 the leading reason to choose that
university
Use synonyms
, increasing to 37%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the share of
students
Use synonyms
 concerned about the proximity more than doubled (22%)
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that of those focused on the
quality
Use synonyms
teaching
Change preposition
of teaching
show examples
 increased by 3-
percentage-points
Use the right word
points
show examples
. There was a fall of 4% in the percentage of learners choosing the
university
Use synonyms
thanks
Punctuation problem
, thanks
show examples
 to
quality
Use synonyms
 resources, and good sports and social activities fell out of
favor
Use the right word
favour
show examples
, declining more than threefold (6%).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university, quality with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: