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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (13.05.25) (million tonne)

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (13.05.25) (million tonne)
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 transported in the UK from 1974 to 2002 by 4 different modes.
Overall
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 transported by all four modes fluctuated over time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 all went up
at the end
Linking Words
 of the graph, except pipeline
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has a slight decrease in
goods
Use synonyms
 transported.Pipeline consistently recorded the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 transported. In 1974,
Goods
Use synonyms
 transported by road recorded the highest
number
Use synonyms
 at 70.
This
Linking Words
 figure rose and fell right after over an
8 years
Correct your spelling
8-year
period
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 gradually increased over
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another
8 years
Correct your spelling
8-year
period
Use synonyms
. It stopped, fell a little
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 increased dramatically and
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
 100
goods
Use synonyms
 transported in 2002.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
goods
Use synonyms
 transported by water recorded in 1974
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 around 40, it remained stable until 1978 and rose to 60 in 1982. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it remained stable until 1994, fell right after and quickly recovered. It
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of 65
goods
Use synonyms
 transported in 2002. In 1974,
Goods
Use synonyms
 transported by pipeline recorded the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 at only 5.
This
Linking Words
 figure rose steadily over a
20 years
Correct your spelling
20-year
period
Use synonyms
 and remained stable around 20 in 2002.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
goods
Use synonyms
 transported by rail
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 recorded
a
Change preposition
at a
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of around 40, it fluctuated over time and
hits
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bottom
Check wording
low
show examples
 of 25
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 rose for the
remain
Replace the word
remaining
show examples
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, conversely".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, goods, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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