A university degree is essential for people who want to have a successful career. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Achieving success thanks to a

university

Use synonyms

degree

Use synonyms

has been recognised and

single

Replace the word

singled

show examples

out in recent years as a matter of urgent public concern. It is

believeed

Correct your spelling

believed

by some that it is important, and much has been discussed about the validity of

this

Linking Words

argument. Personally, I tend to agree and disagree with

this

Linking Words

point of view On the one hand, I understand why some individuals think the

afore-mentioned

Use the right word

aforementioned

show examples

notion is unjustified to some extent.

To begin

Linking Words

with, many

well- know

Use the right word

well-known

show examples

people

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

without a

university

Use synonyms

degree

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, Bill Gates dropped out of college,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

managed to build

world - renowned

Use the right word

world-renowned

show examples

companies.

Additionally

Linking Words

, having a

degree

Use synonyms

does not guarantee jobs

, when

Punctuation problem

. When

show examples

student

graduation

Replace the word

graduate

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

still face intense competition in their field of study, even if they have earned a

degree

Use synonyms

with distinction.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, as far as I am concerned, there are more convincing reasons to be in

favor

Use the right word

favour

show examples

of the belief that

Use synonyms

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

degree

Use synonyms

is essential for people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

want to

have

Verb problem

show examples

successful. First of all, individuals with it often have better chances of promotion and can find

easily

Correct word order

apply

show examples

specialized

Use the right word

specialised

show examples

job positions

Correct word order

easily.

show examples

On top

that

Change preposition

of that

show examples

, it provides students with essential professional knowledge.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

serves as

evisence

Correct your spelling

evidence

of their academic ability and competence. In conclusion, I am strongly supportive of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the belief that a

university

Use synonyms

degree

Use synonyms

is necessary in many cases, but there are situations where it may not be essential.

phuonglinh020797

Jul 25, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Your agreement and disagreement can be clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Try to separate your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific jobs that require a degree.

coherence and cohesion

Check for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity. Some words are misspelled, like 'believed' and 'evidence.'

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument clearly, which is good for discussing complex ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes your points well, giving a clear end to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

235 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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