IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart and graph illustrate data about participants who have enrolled
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 Olympics.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 men
involved
Verb problem
are involved
show examples
 in
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 higher than women who have participated in competitions. The statistics indicate that the competitors
inovolved
Correct your spelling
involved
 in
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 were slightly under 4000 in 1924.
Subsequantly
Correct your spelling
Subsequently
, it has risen sharply in 2012 to slightly over 10,000.
Firstly
Linking Words
, female participants were few in 1924.
They
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 were only 2 who joined.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
, the
figures
Check wording
number
show examples
 of women
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 participated in
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
1952 started increasing to 500. In 1984, the number of female competitors
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually rose to slightly over 1000.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
, the proportion of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 rose sharply to 5000 in 2012.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of male competitors started to increase from 1924 to 2012. The highest joiners of men
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in 2012. It
estimated
Verb problem
is estimated
show examples
6000
Change preposition
at 6000
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 who joined in 1924 were approximately 3000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the participants
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased significantly in the following years. In 1924,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 were nearly 3000
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
; then
show examples
 it
has risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 rapidly to over 10000 in 2012.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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