IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?

The world is very different today, and there are many things that have changed, including the increase
of
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in
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 population in
cities
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.
People
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 are moving to urban places for more jobs and
better
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a better
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 life.
This
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 essay will examine what
problems
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 does
overpopulation
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 in
cities
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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?
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.
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 and how can these
problems
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 be solved?
Overpopulation
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 in
cities
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Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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cause
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causes
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 many serious
problems
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.
First,
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traffic jams
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 very common every day.
For
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example
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, in big
cities
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 like Cairo or Mumbai,
people
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 waste hours in traffic.
In addition
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, more
people
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 means
less
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fewer
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 houses, so rent prices go up.
Also
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, when
cities
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 are full, pollution increase quickly. The air
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 dirtier, which makes
people
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 get sick. Another issue is the stress on public hospitals and schools.
For
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example
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, in many areas it is hard to find space in schools.
Moreover
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,
people
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 sometimes wait many hours in hospitals. Not only that, but crime levels can go higher because of too many
people
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.
Therefore
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,
overpopulation
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 brings big
problems
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 for everyone in the city. One solution to
this
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problems
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problem
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 is improving public transportation.
For
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example
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, more metro lines can reduce car use. Another way is building cheap housing outside city
centers
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centres
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.
This
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 can help families live in good conditions.
Also
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, jobs should be
made
Verb problem
created
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 in villages and small towns.
For
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example
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, companies can open factories in countryside areas.
In addition
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, schools in villages must be better so
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people
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that people
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 stay there. Parks and services can
also
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 help
people
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 enjoy life outside
cities
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. If these steps happen,
people
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 will move less to big
cities
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.
Overall
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, these ways can reduce
overpopulation
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 step by step. In conclusion ,
overpopulation
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cause
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causes
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 many issues
such
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 as traffic, housing
problems
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 and pollution, but it can be reduced by transport, housing, jobs, and education outside
cities
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly answer the question and connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points.
language use
Be careful with grammar, like singular and plural forms.
content
The introduction clearly states the topic and goals of the essay.
content
Some examples given were relevant and helped illustrate the problems.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overpopulation
  • urbanization
  • strain on resources
  • property prices
  • traffic congestion
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • sanitation
  • unemployment rates
  • competition
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • mental health
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