Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

While

Linking Words

some individuals may believe that looking after their

health

Use synonyms

and finances is the government’s duty, others believe

otherwise

Linking Words

.I immensely agree with the latter point of view. First of all, governments should allow

everyone

Punctuation problem

everyone,

show examples

regardless of their social status

Punctuation problem

, to

show examples

use the

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

system. In order to treat everyone equally, many

authurities

Correct your spelling

authorities

and

resoruces

Correct your spelling

resources

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

hospitals

Punctuation problem

hospitals,

show examples

must be able to offer their services to citizens no matter what their income is.

Also

Linking Words

, providing

Use synonyms

health

Correct article usage

a health

show examples

care

Use synonyms

system for the older generation and

insure

Verb problem

ensuring

show examples

their well-being is beneficial towards the

governemt

Correct your spelling

government

as well. In cases

Linking Words

whereas

Correct word choice

where

show examples

pandemics or

health

Use synonyms

crises

, knowing

Verb problem

occur, knowing

show examples

eldrly

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Use synonyms

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

taken

care

Use synonyms

of and are in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good shape is a

relife

Use the right word

relief

show examples

for the governors. Not only

the

Verb problem

does the

show examples

health

Use synonyms

of these individuals

matters

Correct subject-verb agreement

matter

show examples

and should be taken

care

Use synonyms

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

their but their economics should

also

Linking Words

concidered

Correct your spelling

considered

regarding

Fix capitalization

Regarding

show examples

this

Linking Words

, another point worth bringing the

spot light

Use the right word

spotlight

show examples

to is the taxes. Governments collect taxes from each individual in order to keep them protected and look after their needs.

Therefore

Linking Words

using

Punctuation problem

, using

show examples

these fees that are collected for

public’s

Correct article usage

the public’s

show examples

good must

also

Linking Words

include providing for those who have low retirement

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

, or are struggling with their cost of living because of their old age.

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

if the elderly

people

Use synonyms

accountings

Use the right word

accounts

show examples

are not being taken

care

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

of,

show examples

they can fall into poverty, which can

casue

Correct your spelling

cause

high crime rates. In conclusion, it indeed is a governmental responsibility to take

care

Use synonyms

of the older generation

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

in both aspects.

Above all

Linking Words

of these, the elderly

people

Use synonyms

are the ones

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

paved the way for the younger generation. If the ones we voted for to

care

Use synonyms

for us

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

neglect our elderly

people

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

they were not the right choice.

tabasom.nikkhah

Jul 26, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your ideas, making them clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Check for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors to improve clarity.

task achievement

You raised valid points about healthcare and financial support for the elderly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Suggestions & mistake analysis
Find every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays there is an increasing number of migration cases due to various reasons, however, it might be problematic since not all migrants know the language of the country they are moving to. Even though there are some obvious benefits, I consider that it is hard to adapt to a new society for an average human being.
6
band
Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved
Throughout the course of history, living in a utopia has been the dream of people around the world; however, the idea of a perfect society has not been agreed upon. The following essay is going to discuss why equality is the key to establishing a utopian society and how this dream can be achieved through educational opportunities.
7
band
Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
One of the most important ways to raise living standards in many nations throughout the world is through economic development. It leads to the development of infrastructure, improves access to healthcare and education, and generates jobs. However, there is frequently a drawback to the quest of economic development: significant societal ideals may be sacrificed. In this paper, I will contend that governments should work to strike a balance between maintaining social values and promoting economic growth because the benefits of economic development exceed the drawbacks.
6
band
These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the vast majority prefer virtual benefits for shopping, daily conversation and job-related purposes that require no physical interaction with public. Indeed, this eligibility provides more convenience than real-time meetings. Through the essay, I'll discuss both advantages and disadvantages that come with new features of viral lifestyle changes.Modern world civilizations are using the internet resources for trading, working and communicating. The main reason for the hype over virtuality happens to be related to the advantage and the accessibility that prevent unnecessary time consumption. Another reason for this, a lot of people believe that the variety of availabilities is wider in comparison to the actual experience of in-location experience. The phenomenon became common during the COVID-19 pandemic. Because of the restrictions, most people realized how the internet was able to keep life efficient where human interactions were prohibited.On the other hand, it is visible ...
7
band
Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through economic development. However, some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
In some countries, people have changed their way of living as a result of the current market. Even though those new behaviors may affect them in other aspects negatively. A lot of people claim that many countries start having better economies due to the fact that their citizens are working more regardless of the loss of their ethics. In this essay, I will demonstrate the positives and negatives of this phenomenon.

Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through economic development. However, some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?