IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter ad follows:

Dear Rajpreet, How are you? Hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in radiant health and best of spirits. I am just writing to give you a piece of advice that you have asked me. I suggest
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that you
should
Verb problem
apply
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opt
the
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for the
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 job.
Firstly
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, you have already done
Correct article usage
a masters
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masters
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master's
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 in business management, and I don't think
so
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apply
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that at
age
Correct article usage
the age
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 of 25 you will enjoy the college days. As you should now focus more
the
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on the
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 job because you have the required degree to apply in the business field company.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, you can assist your family
as well as
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
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obtain experience . Of Course, I know that you are really good
in
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at
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 accounts and computer skills
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will be really helpful in finding
a
Correct article usage
an
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 appropriate job . I hope you will
shed
Verb problem
pay
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 attention
on
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to
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 the advice. Best regards, Simran

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas with more details and examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer paragraphing by starting new paragraphs for new ideas to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentences for correct grammar and word choice to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The letter starts and ends with friendly greetings, which is nice and fitting for a personal letter.
task achievement
You provided reasons for your advice, which shows your understanding of Rajpreet's situation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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