Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive. Others, however say that cooperation teamwork skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

It is often argued that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

some people think that children should be taught to be competitive ,

while

Linking Words

others believe that cooperation

teamwork

Correct word choice

and teamwork

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more essential

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

This

Linking Words

topic has recently sparked significant attention across various sectors.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and explain why I personally agree with the second thought. Supportive of teaching pupils how to be competitive as it

Verb problem

is an

show examples

important skill, claim that it brings numerous advantages to individuals and society as a whole. One compelling reason is that matches can motivate students to improve and perform better.

For instance

Linking Words

, in many schools, learners compete to get the highest grades in exams.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it teaches them how to set goals, overcome challenges, and strive

Change preposition

for

show examples

the best.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

line of reasoning continues to attract strong support.

Conversely

Linking Words

, those who advocate for the teamwork cooperative often point out that it is more essential in the

real life

Use the right word

real-life

show examples

world.To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, most jobs today require collaboration, communication, and

problem solving

Use the right word

problem-solving

show examples

within a team.

Also

Linking Words

, individuals who are only focused on competition may feel pressure, anxiety, or even become too individualistic.

Moreover

Linking Words

, learning to work with others, respect different opinions, and achieve common goals. Personally, I find the second view more convincing because it helps people to build strong social and emotional skills.

While

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

contests can drive personal growth, group work builds a collaborative mindset, which is more beneficial in school, work,

anf

Correct your spelling

and

life. In summary,

while

Linking Words

both views present valid arguments, I believe that both are required for learners, but in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

teamwork should be prioritised.

meshal.x3

Jul 27, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

coherence

Use clear linking words to show how ideas connect, such as 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition'.

task achievement

The essay discusses both views, which is good for a balanced response.

coherence

There is a clear opinion stated at the end, which helps the reader understand your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

261 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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