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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours spent in a library by undergraduate and postgraduates compared to the total student population at a university in Britain

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours spent in a library by undergraduate and postgraduates compared to the total student population at a university in Britain
The line graph provides information about the changing patterns of domestic
access
Use synonyms
 to modern technology in
homes
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,the popularity of each technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 risen gradually since the start. The CD player remained
to be
Verb problem
apply
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the most popular type of technology for seven years.In the
year
Use synonyms
 1996 the 60
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of
homes
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 had a CD player.In the
2000s
Punctuation problem
2000s,
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 the proportion rose to 80
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.Alternatively,few
homes
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 had
access
Use synonyms
 to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
Check wording
apply
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access
Use synonyms
,but it should be taken into account that it was developed later compared to other technologies. The mobile phone was the least chosen option during the late 1990s,being in only 19
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 of British households.During the
year
Use synonyms
 of 1999, the
access
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 to mobile
homes
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 rose gradually and it reached
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 peak in the
year
Use synonyms
 2003,being
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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over 60
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of the
UK
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
. The home computer had a rise as well,
although
Linking Words
 it was
more steady
Correct word choice
steadier
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 compared to the mobile phone.Both of them reached their peak in the
year
Use synonyms
 2003,
home
Change preposition
with home
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 being in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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over 55
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British households.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words access, homes, uk, year, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • undergraduate
  • postgraduate
  • time brackets
  • library usage
  • total student population
  • correlation
  • patterns
  • comparison
  • study level
  • time spent
  • academic demands
  • research intensity
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