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Writing Samples
Band 3

The increasing use of technology in the workplace has led to many changes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Technology
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 contributes to the key component of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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modern life
which
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, which
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influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 many aspects of human life in various ways. Its footprint can be seen anywhere
and
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, and
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work
Use the right word
workplaces
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places
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 are one
the
Change preposition
of the
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places
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 where using
technology
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become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 inevitable
due to
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 the benefits it brings. In spite of the numerous
advantages
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 of using
technology
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 in
workplaces
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, it
also
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 has disadvantages. Nowadays,
technology
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 has become part of
workplaces
Use synonyms
 and offers many
advantages
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it enables
further
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 communication for
employees
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, where they can work and exchange information outside of the workplace.
Secondly
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, it provides
employees
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 with innovative and creative thinking
which
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, which
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 changes boring
workplaces
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, where some people are forced to spend most of their time
into
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, into
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 better
places
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 to survive.
Thirdly
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, using different software which is available for all jobs specifically
,
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apply
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 leads to saving time, energy and increases the efficiency. Even though
technology
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 offers many
advantages
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, it brings disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
employees
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 frequently send messages and check their social media
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to distractions.
Secondly
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, adopting AI and other software may cause laziness where
employees
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 prefer to transfer their responsibility to
technology
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.
Thirdly
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, providing new software in some countries
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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Iran
Punctuation problem
Iran,
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 may be challenging and
costs
Correct subject-verb agreement
cost
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 a lot of money
due to
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 the limitations they have. In conclusion, all technologies have both
advantages
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 and disadvantages. Adding
technology
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 to
workplaces
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 has changed them into
places
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 where not maintaining a balance may negatively affect them.

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clear and fully developed. You could add more examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is explained well.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline the topic well.
content
You mentioned both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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