IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism related industries in one UK city between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism related industries in one UK city between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
jobs
Use synonyms
numbers
Check wording
apply
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in
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 sector in a
british
Fix capitalization
British
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 city between 1989 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that restaurants underwent a steady increase throughout the years. Whilst travel and tours had the most significant decrease by 2009,
Compared
Fix capitalization
compared
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 to the other
jobs
Use synonyms
 .
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
1989
Punctuation problem
1989,
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 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 observed
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 was the most balanced
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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 with
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 over 1000
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
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, and
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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 in travel
1989
Change preposition
in 1989
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 with 800
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Sport and leisure was the least
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
 job in 1994 as it receded by less than 800.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
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 despite the decrease, in
year
Correct article usage
the year
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 1999 it witnessed another significant rise. By 2004 restaurant recorded the highest
jobs
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
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taken again,
By
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reaching 1600
jobs
Use synonyms
Respectively
Fix capitalization
respectively
show examples
. Moving onto 2009, all three
jobs
Use synonyms
 showed steady decline
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
were taking
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 by 400.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words jobs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • significant increase
  • moderate rise
  • sharp fall
  • peak
  • trough
  • stagnant
  • sector
  • tourism-related industries
  • employment figures
  • data
  • time period
  • comparison
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