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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below shows the average percentages in typical meals o three types of nutrients l, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below shows the average percentages in typical meals o three types of nutrients l, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The
pie
Use synonyms
 graphs illustrate the average proportions of different nutrients, all of which are possibly unhealthy if eaten too much.
Overall
Linking Words
, dinner comprises the highest levels of
sodium
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 and saturated fat,
whereas
Linking Words
snacks
Use synonyms
 account for the highest levels of added sugar.
Breakfast
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, has the lowest ratios of the three ingredients. Regarding the
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat
pie
Use synonyms
 charts, dinner represents the largest section of 43% and 37%, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by lunch , which forms nearly a third of the
sodium
Use synonyms
pie
Use synonyms
 chart compared to nearly a quarter of the saturated fat one. Both
snacks
Use synonyms
 and
breakfast
Use synonyms
 segments show a similar percentage of 14%
sodium
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they differ in the saturated fat
pie
Use synonyms
 chart as the
snacks
Use synonyms
 section forms 21%
while
Linking Words
breakfast
Use synonyms
16
Check wording
forms 16
show examples
%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the added sugar
pie
Use synonyms
 indicates a different consumption pattern.
Snacks
Use synonyms
 have the biggest amount of sugar
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 42% followed by dinner , which accounts for around a quarter. Lunch is recorded with 19%
whereas
Linking Words
breakfast
Use synonyms
 is the smallest part of 16%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, sodium, snacks, breakfast with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Saturated fat
  • Trans fat
  • Sodium
  • Carbohydrates
  • Cholesterol
  • Processed foods
  • Nutrient density
  • Dietary guidelines
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Hypertension
  • Recommended daily intake (RDI)
  • Nutritional label
  • Food pyramid
  • Balanced diet
  • Health awareness
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