In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

More and more
people
Use synonyms
usually think that spending
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time at
work
Use synonyms
is a positive development . And I can totally agree with
this
Linking Words
case , having two reasons why .
first
Fix capitalization
First
show examples
of all , I believe spending long
hours
Use synonyms
at
work
Use synonyms
could produce
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
achievments
Correct your spelling
achievements
which
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
satisfaction . In fact , so
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
enjoy the feeling of
succesion
Correct your spelling
success
when they finish doing their tasks . A study
puplished
Correct your spelling
published
in the
Californai
Correct your spelling
California
university showed that the
people
Use synonyms
who are succeeding in their jobs are much happier than
people
Use synonyms
who are doing nothing .
Therefore
Linking Words
spending
Punctuation problem
, spending
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time at
work
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
feel more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
.
In addition
Linking Words
, I feel like by staying at
work
Use synonyms
for more
hours
Use synonyms
to finish the tasks
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
given
for
Change preposition
to
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you may
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
you an
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
your
boss
Use synonyms
. What I mean is when you stay more than your
co workers
Use the right word
co-workers
show examples
and finish more
tasks
Punctuation problem
tasks,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes more showed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
your
boss
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, wich
show examples
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
when
Punctuation problem
, when
show examples
you want to have a break or vacation it will make it easier . One of my
sister
Fix the agreement mistake
sisters
show examples
once
Rephrase
apply
show examples
was working for 12
hours
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a
day
Punctuation problem
day,
show examples
then
Linking Words
her
boss
Use synonyms
gave her a
10 days
Correct your spelling
10-day
break . To be clear
working
Punctuation problem
, working
show examples
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
provides more
braek
Correct your spelling
break
hours
Use synonyms
In conclusion , I believe that spending long
hours
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at
work
Use synonyms
gives
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
of
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
and satisfaction
as well as
Linking Words
gives you
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
social
statment
Correct your spelling
status
with
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
boss
Use synonyms
and
co workers
Use the right word
co-workers
show examples

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Task Response
Your introduction needs to clearly state your opinion on whether long work hours are positive or negative. Adding a clear thesis statement can improve your response.
Coherence
Your paragraphs should have a clear main idea. Try to start each paragraph with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
Cohesion
Some of your sentences are unclear. Make sure to use correct spelling and punctuation to help the reader understand your ideas better.
Task Achievement
You provided some examples from personal experience and studies, which is good for supporting your ideas.
Coherence
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint on the topic, which is a strong point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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