IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart shows the total number of minutes of
telephone
Use synonyms
 calls in Australia ,
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 into three
categorise
Use the right word
categories
show examples
,
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2001 to 2008 .
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
show examples
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of local calls increased slowly
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 dropped to the same
numbers
Use synonyms
 . National and international calls were gradually increasing . And the rate of
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
 minutes showed a huge
jumping
Replace the word
jump
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , in the
Correct your spelling
beginning
begining
Punctuation problem
begining,
show examples
 local
telephone
Use synonyms
 calls
minuets
Use the right word
minutes
show examples
 showed increasing
numbers
Use synonyms
 during 2001 - 2005 , and kept decreasing slowly from 2006 - 2008 until it reached the same
numbers
Use synonyms
 in 2001 .
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 national and international
telephone
Use synonyms
 minutes grew progressively , from 2001 - 2008 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , the percentage of
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
telephone
Use synonyms
 calls
minuets
Use the right word
minutes
show examples
viewed
Verb problem
rose
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive
Replace the word
massively
show examples
rising
Verb problem
apply
show examples
throughout 2001 -2008 . Comparing these three bars in the
chart
Punctuation problem
chart,
show examples
 we can see that there is a
signifacnt
Correct your spelling
significant
 use of telephones
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Australia by people and mostly the locals .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words telephone, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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