IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
More and more
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
money
Use synonyms
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing the technology for
space
Use synonyms
 discovery is not justified, and they can spend
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of beneficial ways . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will show why
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
I agree with
this
Linking Words
 case .
Body paragraph 1
At
first,
Linking Words
spending
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
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 exploration could lead to big waste
Punctuation problem
, espically
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espically
Correct your spelling
especially
that
Change preposition
since
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 it will affect the economy of the country . In fact, when a huge amount of
money
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spent
Verb problem
is spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
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discovery
Punctuation problem
discovery,
show examples
cause
Replace the word
causing
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loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 may start to leave their homelands and
imigrate
Correct your spelling
immigrate
 to other countries .
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
opinions
Add a comma
opinions,
show examples
 they see that
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 needs are way important than
space
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 exploration
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 no one can blame them .
Linking Words
therefore
Fix capitalization
Therefore
show examples
, the fact that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 ways to spend the
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as developing the
coast
Use the right word
cost
show examples
 of living for citizens . A study in King Abdulaziz University showed that the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who left their homelands for the bad coast of living is very
huge
Use the right word
high
show examples
Conclusion
In conclusion, spending
money
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 on
Use synonyms
space technology developing
Correct word order
developing space technology
show examples
 can not be a good solution for
people
Use synonyms
 who are looking for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 way to live and
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 drop in the economics of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country.

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your position to make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence
Try to link your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', 'finally' to connect your points.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific examples to support your points. For example, mention a country that spends a lot on space exploration and how it could help its citizens instead.
clear comprehensive ideas
Check your spelling and grammar. Some words are misspelled or used incorrectly, which can confuse the reader.
task response
You clearly state your agreement with the idea that money for space exploration can be better spent.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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