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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

This is terrible willandWith the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this cause for society and the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that
technology
Use synonyms
 is advancing rapidly.
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
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essay will discuss the challenges of
technology
Use synonyms
 in society and family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 solutions to
this
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 trend.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
with,
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 there are many bad
affects
Use the right word
effects
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 of
this
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 trend.
Firstly
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, spending less time with family.
In other words
Linking Words
, everyone today is using advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 in all its different forms, especially kids
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to less family time.
In addition
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, a lot of old
people
Use synonyms
 do not know how to
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, they might feel left out when all family members
use
Use synonyms
 their phones to keep in touch with each other,
while
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old
Correct word choice
older
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people
Use synonyms
 feel strange and lonely because they do not know how to
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
. In terms of
solution
Check wording
apply
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solutions
of
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
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problem, allocating a day for
family
Correct article usage
the family
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 to gather can help strengthen family bonds and reduce screen time.
Moreover
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, teaching elderly
people
Use synonyms
 how to
use
Use synonyms
 new
technology
Use synonyms
 can make them feel that they are keeping up with new technologies.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can communicate with their
long distance
Use the right word
long-distance
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friends and family, even play some games, and
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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 their daily routine to be in touch with them and not
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
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 connection. In conclusion, there are many issues
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 using
technology
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as affecting families. It is
also
Linking Words
 true that we can fix
fix
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 issues easily by selecting a day that family members gather and teach older
people
Use synonyms
 how to
use
Use synonyms
 phones.

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general
Make sure to check for grammar and spelling mistakes.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences to guide your reader through each paragraph.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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