IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The problem of
improvement
Replace the word
improving
show examples
 to environment is becoming serious. Some people think that only governments and big companies can affect the environment,
while
Linking Words
 some other people
supposed
Wrong verb form
suppose
show examples
 that individuals can
also
Linking Words
 achieve something significant. Personally, I completely disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 opinion that only governments and large companies can make a difference. From an individual perspective, there are many things they can do to reduce their contribution to environmental pollution. One option is that residents can reduce the emissions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon dioxide by driving less and going out by using more public transport. The effect has been approved in many metropolitan cities like Shanghai, where convenient and affordable public transport services have played an important role in the reduction of fumes from vehicles. Another practical action that can be taken by individuals is to classify rubbish, which can make a huge difference in recycling waste.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it looks absurd to me that environmental problems are reckoned to be only addressed by politicians or businessmen.
While
Linking Words
 some might argue that it is the administration that has the power to legislate against pollution, we should not forget that the way
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 deals with something or
initiate
Correct subject-verb agreement
initiates
show examples
 bills can be changed by public opinion, like democratic voting. What’s more, one striking fact we cannot afford to ignore is the enormous amount of daily rubbish from households,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic bags and packages. We should focus on not only enterprises but
also
Linking Words
 household waste. To put it in a nutshell, I do not think that only politicians and company managers can affect the environment without the involvement of individuals.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction. Use phrases like 'I strongly disagree' instead of 'I completely disagree the opinion'.
coherence and cohesion
In your paragraphs, use more linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or statistics to support your points. This can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and support it well throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your examples, like public transport in Shanghai, are relevant and help illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
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