Children nowadays are experiencing health issues, which were previously believed to be exclusive to adults. Obesity, a significant health problem, is widespread among young individuals. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In modern life, many kids struggle with

health

Use synonyms

problems

such

Linking Words

as overweight issues, which are familiar to adults only.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain how digital tools and

food

Use synonyms

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

health

Use synonyms

and will suggest

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

solutions to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. There are two main reasons that cause

obesity

Use synonyms

. The first reason is the effect of technological devices. Many children spend their day sitting on the screen without any physical activities, they wake up with them, eat by watching cartoons

then

Linking Words

whole day

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

video games. Often,

less

Fix the agreement mistake

fewer

show examples

activities lead to

obesity

Use synonyms

because bad lipids collect in one place and humans are overweight.

Moreover

Linking Words

Use synonyms

food

Correct article usage

the food

show examples

that people eat always reflects on their

health

Use synonyms

Food

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

our main source of most diseases.

For example

Linking Words

, many teenagers struggle with acne and doctors suggest

Correct word choice

that

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

regulate what they eat because sweets and

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

junk

food

Use synonyms

often lead to problems with their skin. There are two main solutions that can help prevent

obesity

Use synonyms

at a young age. The first one is to

absent

Verb problem

be absent

show examples

digital

Change preposition

from digital

show examples

tools in children's daily routine.

This

Linking Words

can significantly reduce the chances of getting

this

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

issue. When a child starts to play

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside with friends, it increases physical

activities

Check wording

apply

show examples

activity and

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

allows

Change preposition

for to

show examples

improve

Replace the word

improvement

show examples

software

Check wording

of social

show examples

skills like communication and teamwork

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Second

Correct article usage

The second

show examples

solution is to control

child's

Correct article usage

the child's

show examples

food

Use synonyms

intake,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

fatty

Use synonyms

food

Fix the agreement mistake

foods

show examples

or just

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

a consultation from a doctor. In conclusion, often children experience

health

Use synonyms

issues like

obesity

Use synonyms

because of their lifestyle and

food

Use synonyms

intake.

However

Linking Words

, it can be solved by regulations on digital tools and

food

Use synonyms

ingredients.

aiganym.umbet

Jul 29, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' to help the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Develop your examples to show why they are important to your argument.

task achievement

Clarify your solutions by explaining how they would be effective in reducing obesity.

task achievement

You included important points about technology and food as causes of obesity.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than work together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is inevitably true that parents push their children to outperform other students instead of working with their peers mutually. Personally, I believe the disadvantages eclipse the benefits.
7.5
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
In recent years, it has become quite common for high school graduates to take a break from academics before applying to a university. This essay will dive into the benefits and drawbacks of that trend.
7
band
Some people claim that it is justifiable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is unethical. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Animal testing for medical research is a controversial topic that has been debated for years. Some people argue that it is acceptable to use animals for medical research to benefit human beings, while others believe that it is impossible. In this essay, both sides of the argument will be discussed, and my opinion will be presented.
6.5
band
Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Individuals are divided in their opinion regarding the context of academic learning. To someone, the motto of studying should be providing services to the community whereas many others think the main intention of a student should be achieving their own goals. Both schools of thought make sense to a certain extent and hence both sides of the argument will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
6.5
band
It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?
The advent of technology in recent years allows people to enjoy their free time more than any antecedent period of the twenty-first century. While technological improvement offers unparalleled convenience, this expectation has only proved true to a certain extent since a significant amount of people still struggle with heavy workloads or financial difficulties, foremostly seizing up their free time.

Your opinion

Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than work together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people claim that it is justifiable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is unethical. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?