IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You have rented an apartment recently, but you are facing some problems. Write a letter to the landlord: •Describe the details of the problems •How are these affecting your family •Ask for possible solutions

Dear landlord, My name is Jhoana Calvo,
Correct word choice
and
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I have rented apartment 402 since
last
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 year. Currently, I have an issue with the home electricity. Sometimes, the lights go out
making
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, making
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 my devices restart
on
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in
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 the wrong way.
Additionally
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, I cannot work meanwhile there is no power.
This
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 problem has affected my family and me because we may not develop the activities we do daily.
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, watching TV
;
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,
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 listening to music
;
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,
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 doing the laundry
;
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,
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 working remotely
;
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,
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using
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and using
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 the oven, among other
stuff
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things
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.
Hence
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, I ask for a technical revision and the verification of the connection of the cable, as soon as possible
because
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, because
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 as I mentioned before,
this
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 problem has affected me and my family. Thanks for the attention . yours faithfully Jhoana Calvo

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports the overall message.
task achievement
Add a friendly opening to your letter, such as 'I hope this message finds you well.'
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Try to include more details about how the power issues affect you daily.
task achievement
You clearly stated the problem you are facing with electricity.
task achievement
Your letter is polite and maintains a respectful tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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