IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas are used in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy has been encouraged. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fossil fuel is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the worst
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on our
environment
Use synonyms
 ,but many
countries
Use synonyms
 consume it because it is cheap.
However
Linking Words
, main
while
Linking Words
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 using renewable
energy
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 helps the
environment
Use synonyms
 by not
exposing
Verb problem
emitting
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 CO2. The
countries
Use synonyms
 like Norway
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 using
eco friendly
Use the right word
eco-friendly
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 are maintaining the
environment
Use synonyms
 to be healthier.
First,
Linking Words
the effect of using fossil fuel is the quality of life
decrease
Check wording
apply
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, the harmful impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and plants.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays Saudi Arabia
are consume
Wrong verb form
consumes
show examples
 fossil fuel to provide vehicles
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and houses, which will lead to more CO2 emissions that will affect the
residence
Replace the word
residents
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 of the country.
Also
Linking Words
, the
non eco friendly
Use the right word
non-eco-friendly
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energy
Use synonyms
 will
to
Verb problem
apply
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destroy the planet by
high
Verb problem
emitting high
show examples
 carbon dioxide will lead to damage the
hart
Use the right word
heart
show examples
 of the plant.
As a result
Linking Words
, the vegan animal will not find food to survive.
In addition
Linking Words
, Oslo is
the
Correct article usage
one
show examples
 of the best
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of a sustainable city because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 renewable
energy
Use synonyms
.That
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 most of the
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 and the
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
 living a
significant
Replace the word
significantly
show examples
 high life quality because of sufficient CO2.
According to
Linking Words
 Fliex and Mohammed, Oslo ranked the highest percentage of electric vehicles.
As a result
Linking Words
,the
environment
Use synonyms
 and the wildlife
maintaining
Wrong verb form
are maintained
show examples
 healthy and
sustainable
Check wording
sustainable way
show examples
 In conclusion, the
countries
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 using
unrenewable
Use the right word
nonrenewable
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 are destroying our planet and
sharing
Verb problem
having
show examples
 a harmful effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the wildlife.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
 like Norway are trying to maintain our planet healthy by consuming
eco friendly
Use the right word
eco-friendly
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Rewrite the introduction to clearly state your position. For example, say that using alternative energy is a positive development.
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Check grammar. Some sentences are difficult to understand because of mistakes.
task achievement
You give examples of countries like Saudi Arabia and Norway, which is good for your argument.
task achievement
You mention both positive and negative effects of fossil fuels, which shows understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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